Lacking. Caring. Off.

I don't wake up with songs in my head anymore.

I really don't.

I've never been able to remember my dreams. When I moved to Texas, for some reason they decided to stay in California--maybe the weather was better. I don't have recollection of what went on in my dreams, but I could always tell the mood of those late night escapades-- I would wake up with a tune in my head. Whether feathery and light or damp and recluse, I always knew the tempo; I always knew how it blended together. It's like the soundtrack to a movie, take away the sound to Alien and you're left with a run down, fantasy 80's rave with DJ Weaver as your host. But lately, they've been gone.

Maybe I don't dream anymore. Maybe this lack of sleep is causing my brain to hide away, letting my spinal cord have a go.

Straight nerves, imagine that.

Maybe my head is dark, vacant, not there when my body shuts off. Maybe I'm just on recharge.

I've just realized that I haven't used the word drowsy in years.

But drowsy is an understatement.

I'm exhausted. I'm drained. If you find grammatical errors in this post-- I apologize in advance, or in pretense, or....whatever.

This is my nervous system writing by the way. My brain died a few hours ago.