Up, Up, Up, Up

Once again, I'm still awake. I feel tired, yet, once I lay my head down on my pillow the sleep factor just doesn't kick in.

I mean, my eyes, they're bloodshot.

The guys next door are playing really, really bad guitar. And my roommates congestion fiasco is just about to kick up. Glorious night.

Great-- what is that I hear? Rap. I have on my uber sweet, DJ-style, chrome tinted headphones and Dallas Green is singing through both ears. If you've never heard of him, go to his myspace.

I feel like taking a walk.

Austin is a beautiful place at night, I mean, you get that calmness that folds over you when you're the only one around. It's you and the wind. I only realize now with longer hair how much I appreciate a breeze. I love the feeling you get when all the noise in your head just stops--and that's just how you want it to be. When you can look around and admire whatever strikes you as curious or aesthetically amusing.

It's like when you get that end-of-movie feeling. The one where your favorite song fades into your atmosphere, clearing all the other audio around you. Mouths move but nothing speaks. Everything around you is a soft glow. Lights flicker but you dont notice. The breeze blows, and you still shiver.

But sometimes it's just not enough.

A moment is nothing unless you can share it. To prove it was there. To prove you were there. To have someone smile back or grab your hand when it feels nothing but that cold breeze. You listen to nothing for too long and sounds start flooding back in. You remember too much. And it gets boring, you get sick, and you feel lonely.

I think I'm tired now. Good night.